im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
