The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize