We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
