It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
its not stalking. its research.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
