Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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