Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
