Duck Duck Cougar?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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