McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
