Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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