so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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