So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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