He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize