I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
