my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
4 words: hood of his car
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
