youre lurking in front of me
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize