DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
God I need to hump something, right now.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
