you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
