He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
