And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
