these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Life is so much better after having sex.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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