I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
