I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
