he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
