Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
