If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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