I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
