True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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