I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
