Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
