His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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