im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize