Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
