everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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