i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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