New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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