i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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