Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Randomize
