So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
