I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
