I cannot find my penis.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize