I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
