She's JV to your varsity
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
