YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize