I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think I sprained my soul last night
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Panties = found
Randomize