It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
