Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
