So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
