and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
