Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She told me I should be a condom model.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Randomize
