for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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