'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
