Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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