Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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