the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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