Only a mothe r could love this liver
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
