i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
