I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
farters have to be the big spoon...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i think my cat just said my name.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
