Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
