I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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