god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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